This coming Monday night is the 2015 WWE Slammy Awards and since its inception in 1986, there have been a wide variety of categories. While the Academy Awards tend to stick to the same Oscars every year outside of a few noteworthy exceptions, WWE likes to change things up and will often add an award just to get a joke across or give a wrestler something to do on the show itself. This can lead to a lot of fun and some confusion when looking back on just what has gone down over the past 30 years.
While looking back on the history of the event, several awards stood out to me as odd, and I figured it might be nice to take a trip down memory lane to remember some of those things we might have forgotten about.
1986 – All of Them
The first Slammy Awards ceremony is undoubtedly the strangest in retrospect. Before it became a generalized method of celebrating the moments that happened on WWE programming, it was more of a tie-in to the Rock ‘n’ Wrestling Connection and WWE’s partnership with MTV. As such, this was an obvious parody of the Grammy Awards and focused entirely on music.
At this event, there are performances by Gene Okerlund, Jimmy Hart, Hillbilly Jim and Junkyard Dog (although the latter two just lip-synched) and the awards had essentially nothing to do with wrestling. Instead of Superstar of the Year, we had Best Single Performer (Junkyard Dog). Instead of Match of the Year, we had Best Personality in Land of a Thousand Dances (Roddy Piper). Rather than voting on extreme moments and tag teams and divas, an award was given to Mona Flambe (Cyndi Lauper) for Best Producer.
The so-called “Academy of Wrestling Arts and Sciences” would change its tune over the next few years, leading into what we now associate with the event’s more traditional awards, but it’s interesting to see how drastically different the concept originally was.
1987 – Still Finding Itself
Although 1987 was a change in direction from its inaugural year, they were still working out the kinks. Yes, there were two musical numbers: the roster singing “If You Only Knew” and Vince McMahon performing “Stand Back”, which everybody needs to check out if they haven’t seen it already because it’s hilarious. There also was an award for Best Vocal Performance (Jim Duggan) and would have been one for Song of the Year as well if Sika hadn’t eaten the envelope containing the name of the winner. Perhaps that was for the best, considering the nominees.
The awards this time around took a more serious approach than before, but there still was an element of silliness to it. We were introduced to regular categories such as Woman of the Year (The Fabulous Moolah), Best Ring Apparel (Harley Race), and Jesse “The Body” Award (Rick Rude).
On the opposite end of the spectrum, though, we had some weird ones. Gene Okerlund and Bam Bam Bigelow won for Best Head. There was an award for Best Performance by an Animal (given to George “The Animal” Steele). In what I can only imagine was at least partially a rib, Nikolai Volkoff, Boris Zhukov and Slick all won the award for Best Personal Hygiene amongst nominees Sika, King Kong Bundy, George Steele and Hillbilly Jim. What I don’t want to imagine is what that locker room smelled like.
Your mileage may vary on whether or not these are funny, but the one joke that sticks its landing in my opinion is Best Group which was given to One Man Gang.
1994 – Woo! Senior Year!
It would be years before the Slammy Awards would return in 1994, this time with an even firmer grasp on celebrating the in-ring product. In a way, this one comes off more as the superlatives given in high school yearbooks rather than awards to be won.
A quick rundown of the awards includes (but is not limited to) Most Intimidating, Sweatiest, Greediest, Mouthiest, Most Eccentric, Smelliest, Most Likely to See Jenny Craig, Funniest, Most Evolutionary, Most Patriotic, Best Etiquette and Biggest Heart. These naturally focused more on showcasing the personalities of the performers than commending them for a great show that they had or something along those lines.
Granted, there were some of those more legitimate ones. Best PPV, Best Manager, Best Tag Team and Worst Tag Team (note: Diesel and Shawn Michaels won both of those awards) are a little closer to what we have in 2015 and seem more familiar to the current audience.
However, there’s one standout that should be mentioned: Worst Idea. This was given to Abe Knuckleball Schwartz going on strike.
Best Dressed
In 1994, one of the awards was Best Dressed. The reason I didn’t mention it above is because this one in particular spawned several repeats in some fashion or another (no pun intended) over the years. There weren’t any Slammy Awards in 1995, but in 1996, this came back not only as Best Threads (to show off how much more hip it was) but also in the opposite form with the award for Blue Light Special for Worst Dresser. Shawn Michaels was given the thumbs up for his clothes while Jim Cornette’s wardrobe was the one being criticized.
In 1997, Best Dressed came back once more, this time going to Sable. It’s hard to argue against that choice, even though Marlena was also nominated. (Side note debate for the comments: how does Sable rank for you? Marlena, Chyna, The Funkettes and Sunny—recipient of Best Buns in 1996—all lost out to her for Miss Slammy, too).
’97 must have been a very vain year, as appearances are a big focal point. Best Tattoo, Best Hair, and Best Entrance Music are included, as well as Best Bow Tie, which went to Owen Hart…sort of. It’s better for him to have stolen it than to have awarded it to Steve Urkel, right? Best Bow Tie seems like such a random thing to pinpoint, but after many years of absence, it actually came back again in 2011 with The Pee-wee Herman Bowtie Award of all things!
Just think: there have been more awards specifically dedicated to bowties than there have been for Best WWE Pay-Per-View of the Year.
2010 – WWE.com
Something was in the water in December of 2010 as WWE added several awards to be given out on WWE.com—all of which were pretty ridiculous.
Rosa Mendes won Best Use of Exercise Equipment for using a Shake-Weight and in the process, bought herself another couple of months on the roster, I’m sure. Tyler Reks won Most Menacing Haircut. Remember that guy’s hair? Nope? Remember that guy at all? Nope. Let’s move on.
Some weren’t quite so unusual, such as Best WWE.com Exclusive TV Show or Most Annoying Catchphrase, but then there was Best Performance by a Winged Specimen. That was a thing, as was Cody Rhodes winning Outstanding Achievement of Baby Oil Application, which may be even more bizarre than his run as Stardust.
Since then, things have been toned down considerably. We still have peculiar awards now and again to highlight specific things that have happened throughout the year like Angry Miz Girl or when that mouse ran by Alberto Del Rio on Monday Night Raw, but they’re not so extraordinary as they used to be.
This begs the question: is there a place for silly awards, or should this be treated more seriously? Can we still take something like Superstar of the Year as a legitimate accolade if it’s paired with Best Beard? Now that fans can vote, how does that change your perception of the Slammy Awards, where it could be considered less fun and more like an IWC popularity contest?
It may be a difference of what you prefer the Slammys to be about—entertainment or acknowledgement.
Sound off in the comments below about your thoughts on this subject and about any of the other crazy awards that stand out to you from Slammy Awards history, and if you’re interested in diving deep into the best and the worst of WWE from 2015, don’t forget to check out the Smark Out Moment Awards.
