Before Survivor Series became “the one time in the year where Raw and SmackDown (and NXT) go head to head in competition” it used to be just an event with random teams against each other.
The appeal was the pairings themselves, rather than some big score card. It was an era where six-man tag team matches and the like weren’t staples of each TV episode damn near every week.
Among the series of uninteresting “Team Cena” and “Team Alicia Fox” and such, as well as an onslaught of teams with not even that name, we’ve had some great gems. Some of them were legitimately awesome, while others were so laughably stupid that it’s hard to hate them, knowing what era they were in.
I’m feeling nostalgic, so I decided to look back and present to you my favorites of these ridiculous and/or amazing team names from WWE’s past, as well as some of the absolute worst, in chronological order.
BEST = The Dream Team (1989 / 1990)
Back in 1989, Dusty Rhodes had a crew called The Dream Team that he carried over into 1990. In 1989, he was flanked by Brutus Beefcake, Tito Santana and The Red Rooster. For 1990 (pictured above) he had The Hart Foundation and Koko B. Ware.
Like with everything else on this list, this isn’t necessarily about the best/worst teams themselves, but the best/worst team names.
Frankly, having The American Dream have a Dream Team is so good that I’m surprised WWE didn’t find a way to not do it, just to avoid how logical it was, since the company seems to go out of its way not to do obvious things sometimes.
BEST = The 4×4’s vs. The King’s Court (1989)
The 4×4’s of Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Bret Hart, Ronnie Garvin and Hercules is so bad that it’s good. It’s like your lame dad’s cheesy softball team name or something. The fact that they all had them carry the 2x4s is what sealed the deal to make it a good name.
The King’s Court is just perfect for Macho King Randy Savage. That name always works well when someone has a king gimmick and surrounds themselves with servants and associates. Earthquake, Greg Valentine and Dino Bravo don’t have to be decked out in regal gear for it to still work.
WORST = Roddy’s Rowdies vs. The Rude Brood (1989)
Awful. Both are so awful. Yikes.
Roddy’s Rowdies is actually a decent themed team as far as the people within it. Jimmy Snuka is an eccentric enough character and The Bushwhackers were certainly oddballs. Led by Rowdy Roddy Piper, that group makes sense. But the team name is atrocious. Why not The Rowdy Bunch?
Rude Brood is just lazy. They could have gone with Rude Awakening, too.
WORST = The Ultimate Warriors (1989)
The Ultimate Warriors were made up of Ultimate Warrior (duh) along with The Rockers (Marty Jannetty and Shawn Michaels) as well as Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart.
What the hell made Jannetty, Michaels and Neidhart “ultimate warriors” in this picture? Why don’t they at least have their faces painted?!
They don’t even match colors when you throw Neidhart in there! At most, you can argue that they’re all wearing some kind of pink to match him, but Anvil couldn’t be bothered to grab a green tassel and put it on his wrist or something to match them?
Any of these teams of “The ____” where it’s just some guy’s name and there’s no justification are all equally bad. The Hulkamaniacs of just Hulk Hogan with some random people, for instance, is equally uninspired. But I wanted to pinpoint this so I could call attention to how Ultimate Warriors was done the right way the very next year.
BEST = The Warriors (1990)
Now this is what I’m talking about. This actually makes sense and they don’t even need to match. Granted, it would have been cooler if they did, but there’s at least a justification behind this.
You’ve got Ultimate Warrior, Road Warrior Hawk, Road Warrior Animal and Texas Tornado, who once went by the moniker “The Modern Day Warrior” in WCCW.
That’s how you make a team name make sense. Plus, for extra measure, you’ve got a main eventer, a midcarder, and a tag team. That’s equally balanced.
BEST = The Perfect Team (1990)
Mr. Perfect had to have The Perfect Team, right? It doesn’t matter who he was teaming with, as that was the best name possible for a team that he’s leading.
Granted, knowing that he has Demolition by his side, I think they could have gone a step further. Mr. Perfect teaming with Ax, Crush and Smash could have been something like Perfect Destruction.
WORST = Shawn Michaels and His Knights (1993)
Originally, The Hart Family was scheduled to face Jerry “The King” Lawler and his knights. Then, Lawler was fired, so Shawn Michaels randomly stepped in to fill that void.
Had HBK been given partners that fit his theme, this might not have been so bad. But for him to be given knights, it made no sense. Even worse, they didn’t even bother changing the name to something that could work. They just said that The Heartbreak Kid randomly had knights.
This is perhaps the worst name on this list as it’s not just not good, it almost goes out of its way to be bad.
BEST = All Americans vs Foreign Fanatics (1993)
This is about as basic as you can get and it works so, so well…minus two hiccups.
It’s definitely strange to see The Undertaker in a team of All Americans. He’s from Texas, but we’re not really supposed to know that at that point. Technically, he’s billed from Death Valley, but he’s otherworldly. Plus, it just goes against his gimmick and the American flag liner was just ridiculous.
Crush is also from the United States, as he’s from Hawaii. However, maybe you want to stretch it a bit and say that that’s outside the continental United States and he’s a turncoat anyway as he’s a heel and aligned with Yokozuna and company.
In theory, it could have been better, but the ideas behind the teams are still rock solid.
BEST = The Royal Family (1994)
I feel like I need to remind once more that this isn’t the best teams, just the best names/gimmicks. Obviously, Jerry Lawler teaming with Cheesy, Queasy and Sleazy is by no means a team anyone would want to bet on.
However, “The Royal Family” is perfect. They could have copped out and gone with “The King and His Knights” from the previous year’s detour, but they upped the ante with a better name.
Clowns R’ Us….well, that must have been a Bruce Prichard thing, right?
BEST = The Teamsters (1994)
As a kid in 1994, I had no idea what The Teamsters meant. I was oblivious enough to think that they literally just named themselves the equivalent of “The Teaming Guys” or something, and thought it was absolutely atrocious, particularly for a group of guys that I liked a lot.
Naturally, once I realized the connection between the name and Diesel, as well as the implication of a Jimmy Hoffa association, it became one of my more favorite team names.
Frankly, it’s one of my favorite Survivor Series teams period. HBK is my favorite of all time, Diesel was awesome back then, Jeff Jarrett is underrated from that era, Owen Hart’s sublime and Neidhart is a good backup guy for the sake of it.
Worst = The Dark Side | BEST = The Royals (1995)
When The Undertaker has his disciples and they change to fit his gimmick, such as The Ministry of Darkness, it makes for a good group. When you pair him with Savio Vega, Fatu and Henry O. Godwinn, how do you have The Dark Side? Savio’s not a dark character, Godwinn’s a pig farmer and Fatu’s all colorful and happy and into hip hop. That’s not at all a group that meshes with The Undertaker.
Granted, it was just a BSK group behind the scenes. That’s where that comes in. But even still, why not call them The Bone Street Krew then, rather than The Dark Side?
On the flip side, The Royals makes perfect sense. Hunter Hearst Helmsley was a “blue blood”, then you had King Mabel, Jerry “The King” Lawler and, while he wasn’t regal at all, Isaac Yankem was at least Lawler’s heavy. One exception is okay, but when three out of four don’t fit the theme, that’s where it goes haywire.
What were some of your favorite or least favorite teams from Survivor Series history? Drop your thoughts in the comments below!
