So I just got finished watching the Royal Rumble, and I have a lot to say. Let’s just get down to it. As a side note, I’ll try to limit by grammatical errors as I have been quite erratic in that regard as of late.
The Ascension def. The New Age Outlaws
This match was what it needed to be. It was mercifully short and the right team went over. Still, the problem for The Ascension thus far seems to be getting the crowd to at least give them a reaction. Tonight was a bit of a smarky crowd, so it was expected that they would at least get some jeers, but on tomorrow’s RAW it may be back to the drawing board. The Outlaws tried, but the match isn’t something people will remember and seeing as how The Old Age Outlaws are two journey men in WWE. In addition to this, the tag team division is on the thinner side of the spectrum, so gaining some credibility for this team will prove to be an uphill battle. Match wasn’t anything special. *1/2
The Usos (C) def. The Miz and Damien “Mizdow” – WWE Tag Team Championship
These two teams know each other like the back of each other’s hands. They probably go out to dinner after each time they wrestle. Your typical spots here, even with the repeated kick outs of the Skull Crushing Finale. Nothing particularly interesting here. You have to say, though, that if Mizdow is more over than one entire team combined, it’s an issue. We should also pause and give some credit to a man who doesn’t get enough of it, and that’s The Miz. People are busy lauding Mizdow for his goofy mimicry of “the star” in The Miz, but without The Miz the gimmick doesn’t work. He’s the perfect douchebag for Mizdow and because Miz is so insufferable by himself, Mizdow is more over. He’s so bad he’s good. Ain’t that something? As for the actual match, just watch any of their previous matches, and you won’t see any significant differences. **
Wait, you haven’t had your fill of tag team matches. Well we’re not done yet playas!
The Bella Twins def. Paige and Natayla
So apparently Nikki had some sort of ankle injury and that is why they didn’t do the logical thing and have a triple threat bout for the Divas title. But she was in the ring for at least three minutes, so I don’t understand why they just couldn’t go through with a triple threat between Paige, Natayla and Nikki. The match had some noticeable botches, and I am also inclined to believe Paige doesn’t know how a tag team match works after tonight, though talented she may be. Underwhelming, but I’ll give this match one star, because Paige is hot. *
Brock Lesnar (C) def. Seth Rollins, John Cena – WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Mere words to describe the sheer magnitude of how great this match was doesn’t do it any justice. I mean, where do I begin? There wasn’t a minute where the crowd wasn’t into it and boy were they into it. I mean, you had Rollins showing off some wicked athletic prowess, Cena doing his thing, and by his thing, I mean showing up in big matches, and most of all Lesnar putting his strength on full display. I mean, you had Rollins do a Phoenix Splash! When I first saw him use it against Bryan Danielson (Daniel Bryan for those of you not familiar with Ring of Honor) a few years back, I didn’t think WWE trusted Rollins to use a move like that in WWE, but it looked like he didn’t miss a beat, and then you had him also do that wicked HBK-esque elbow to Lesnar while lying on the announcer’s table. Meanwhile you had Cena putting Lesnar through a barricade, and showing some aggressiveness that helped the flow of the match. Some people thought that Lesnar was may not have been able to finish the match because they had the stretcher out, but I say shame to them, as if they never saw a stretcher job before. Not for one second did I believe Lesnar would not come back. Meanwhile you had Cena and Rollins do some of their usual great sequences with fantastic nearfalls until Lesnar came back for the finish, and taking some wicked blows from Rollins before finishing him off with the F-5. I’ll be honest, I was rooting for Rollins throughout the match and was semi-disappointed that he didn’t tease a MITB cash in after the match, but in hindsight, it was the right move. The right moment has to come for WWE to pull the trigger on Rollins, but after tonight’s showing, there is no question that Rollins is here to stay and that the future his now. If WWE put the title on him tonight, it would be great as well, but Lesnar going forward as champion after this bout works to his advantage. Seeing how he hasn’t defended the title since Night of Champions, this performance shows how dominant he was in the ring and how much damage you would have to impress upon him to put him out. In case you were wondering, Cena gave Lesnar three consecutive Attitude Adjustments and not only did he get right back up after each one, he kicked out. Cena put over Lesnar on fallout after the show ended by saying that he doesn’t know who will conquer Lesnar. Think that answer came later on in the night. Some may call that a burial, but if Lesnar is being pushed as this incomparable beast, it works well right into WWE’s reality. The bottom line is this. This match was the very definition of epicness. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time, the carnage was simply beautiful to watch and all three men deserve a standing ovation for what has to be one of the greatest Royal Rumble matches of all time. Now is a question as to whether or not the match was five stars. I haven’t given five stars to a match since HBK/Taker at WrestleMania 25. I wouldn’t call it perfect, because Rollins and Cena repeated some of their usual spots, which isn’t bad, but it wasn’t particulary new. It wasn’t perfect, but it damn well was close. Huge kudos to everyone involved. ****3/4
Roman Reigns wins the Royal Rumble
Oh boy. Let me preface this by saying that I do not hate Roman Reigns. I think the man has untapped potential. He’s raw like Monday nights but the potential is there. I personally think that the issue with him is that he’s not allowed to be himself. When Vince gives him promos that involve stories about a beanstalk or something like that, the crowd isn’t going to buy it. Meanwhile you have a guy like Bryan, who came fighting on the indie scene, has a big beard, doesn’t have any special gimmick to him, generic wrestling attire and doesn’t have the look like The Rock or even a Randy Orton. But that’s what’s best about him. He is who he is and the fans appreciate that. Now we transition to the Rumble, and I have to say, this year’s Rumble was a huge train wreck. The train was speeding toward mid-way, and after around number 15, the train was crashing and it was like an airplane crashed into the sea and a bomb hidden in that train that crashed detonated to remove the residual mess that was left. What does it say about WWE when 2 of the final four men in the Royal Rumble in 2015 was Kane and Big Show and the biggest pop of the Rumble came courtesy of a man who hasn’t been in a WWE ring in over ten years, Bubba Ray Dudley? We also had a Wyatt Family reunion, well sort of anyways, but it proved to be wasted Rumble time because Rowan wasn’t even an actual entrant. I liked Wyatt’s promo in between the eliminations as it reminded me of Punk’s performance in 2010. Just without the superior wrestling ability. His interaction with R-Truth was very entertaining, but Truth is no D-Von. Just because Truth is black doesn’t mean you can do the same things with him. We didn’t even get an Ambrose/Reigns face off. Not to mention that guys like Wyatt, Ziggler, and Ambrose were unceremoniously ejected from a Kane/Big Show tandem in unspectacular fashion. Clearly the biggest hiccup of the night came when Wyatt eliminated Bryan. Yes, Wyatt eliminated Bryan, one week after he just lost to him in a singles bout on RAW. Makes you wonder why you even have a guy like Bryan in the Rumble in the first place if that’s what they utilized him for. When it came down to Kane, Big Show and Reigns, the crowd immediately sighed in displeasure because they knew what was coming. But more over, they were disappointed that the younger, more deserving stars weren’t given a chance to fight down the line. Ziggler, the man who put The Authority out of power by himself in an impressive showing at Survivor Series didn’t even last 5 minutes. So now barring some change of heart from the bimbos at WWE creative, it looks like we are on course for Lesnar vs. Reigns. After watching Rollins’ performance against Lesnar tonight, you tell me if Reigns has a chance of coming close to topping that performance. Like I said, it’s not the matter of Roman winning, but how WWE went about it. After the match, fellow Samoan, The Rock, came out and gave Reigns an assist after Big Show and Kane jumped him after the match. After they took care of them both swiftly, Rock raised Reigns’ hand as a sign of support, but it was in vain because Roman was not the man who they wanted and was jeered. Wasn’t quite the Batista treatment from last year, but it certainly wasn’t a cry of support from the crowd. When you can’t get support even after an endorsement from a guy as big as The Rock, something is wrong. Not to mention that he took over his interview after he won the rumble. You can just see not only desperation from WWE in this regard, but you also see a stubborn nature within WWE in that they are forcing Reigns down everyone’s throats. Now Batista turned heel after winning the Rumble last year, but Roman won’t have the same experience. Last year’s crowd would throw stuff at Reigns. Can’t help but feel this year’s crowd let him off the hook just slightly. Believe that. I have watched my fair share of Rumbles, but on sheer booking decisions, lack of real star power in surprises and wasted Rumble spots, this was easily one of the worst Rumbles in history. By the way, Axel needs to file a complaint so that he can get a one on one bout with Reigns for his shot at Mania, because upon entering the Rumble he was jumped by Rowan for reasons I cannot understand, and therefore was never eliminated. This rumble sucked, badly. That’s three straight rumbles now where we had a predictable winner. But pack your lunches accordingly and get your ticket plans ready. Lesnar. Reigns. WrestleMania 31. Are you not excited?! **1/2
Conclusion:
Does one fantastic match save a show? In this case, you are either looking at the glass half empty or half full. If you are on the former side, you say, “Yea that triple threat match was good, but that Rumble match sucked and the rest of the card reeked of Teddy Long”. If you are on the latter, you would say “Okay fine, Reigns’ Rumble win was predictable, but the triple threat match reeked of awesomeness and Rollins is still Mr. Money In The Bank. Not to mention the matches that didn’t matter were kept short”. I’m on the glass half full side. At the end of the day, the triple threat match was indeed a true spectacle. And besides, history has shown that you don’t need to win the Royal Rumble to get a title match or main event slot at WrestleMania. Just ask Daniel Bryan about last year’s experience. I’d say if you didn’t see the triple threat title match, find it, watch it and love it. The rest is up to you. Thumbs firmly in the middle. As for the show as a whole, slight recommendation to avoid. Until next time.
