Match Predictions and Heat Index Anticipation Levels
Temperature Scale = Scorching > Hot > Lukewarm > Temperate > Chilly > Cold > Freezing
Heat Index is my assessment of how interesting the segment is, including how excited I am for the match and how intriguing the feud has been. The hotter, the better. Scorching translates to not being able to wait to see it, while Freezing means I couldn’t possibly care less and think it will be awful.
WWE CHAMPIONSHIP AMBULANCE MATCH:
Drew McIntyre (c) vs. Randy Orton
Heat Index = Hot
Prediction: Draw.
Thoughts: This match should have a definitive winner, but it won’t. I think RETRIBUTION is going to interfere and attack both of them for the sake of it, since McIntyre brought out the Raw roster to fight with them this past Monday night. That way, both get put in an ambulance and this is ruled a no-contest that has to be settled at Hell in a Cell.
UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH:
Roman Reigns (c) vs. Jey Uso
Heat Index = Hot
Prediction: Roman Reigns wins.
Thoughts: Look. There’s no way in hell Jey Uso wins this title. It’s as much of a guarantee as you can get, which would normally make this lower on the Heat Index for its predictability. However, it’s something different. Jey Uso’s never had a world title shot, let alone against Roman Reigns. This is cool! I’m super into this and I’m really interested to see what they can do together. Even if it’s a squash, that will do Roman’s new character justice and I’ll enjoy it.
RAW WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH:
Asuka (c) vs. Zelina Vega
Heat Index = Chilly
Prediction: Asuka wins.
Thoughts: Hey, at least Zelina Vega is a new challenger, even if she has zero credibility to her name at the moment and this “feud” was as bare bones as it could possibly be. Asuka is guaranteed to retain the title. There’s no question about that.
SMACKDOWN WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH:
Bayley (c) vs. Nikki Cross
Heat Index = Freezing
Prediction: Bayley wins.
Thoughts: They’ve literally done this match 30 times in the past year in some fashion. I’m not even joking. I couldn’t have cared less well over a dozen times ago. Why the hell does WWE just keep repeating this same match so incredibly often?!
WOMEN’S TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH:
Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler (c) vs. The Riott Squad
Heat Index = Chilly
Prediction: Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler wins.
Thoughts: I can’t imagine this is going to be a great match. For the most part, I’m only interested in the idea that the titles could change hands. Even then, if the belts are on The Riott Squad, do I really care? Nope.
RAW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH:
The Street Profits (c) vs. Andrade and Angel Garza
Heat Index = Freezing
Prediction: Who cares?
Thoughts: Andrade and Angel Garza have fought Montez Ford and Angelo Dawkins FOURTEEN TIMES this year. Even though I like both of these teams, I’m goddamn sick of it. It’s the same repeat nonsense as Bayley vs Cross. WWE can’t just keep doing the same shit and expect anyone to care.
SMACKDOWN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH:
Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura (c) vs. Lucha House Party
Heat Index = Cold
Prediction: Cesaro and Nakamura wins.
Thoughts: How many times have we seen these two teams fight over the past few months? I seem to recall two, if not three other pay-per-views that have happened that I’ve thought “it’s time to have this match for the titles” already. They’ve dragged it out far too long for me to care about anything other than when they finally pull the trigger on Kalisto and/or Lince Dorado turning heel. Beyond that, I’m not interested.
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP TRIPLE THREAT LADDER MATCH:
Jeff Hardy (c) vs. AJ Styles vs. Sami Zayn
Heat Index = Hot
Prediction: Jeff Hardy wins.
Thoughts: Put three entertaining performers together, make it for a title and turn it into a ladder match and you’ve got me sold. It’s a shame this won’t be in front of a crowd (or at least, that they’d allow the ThunderDome audio to go through so we could hear some reactions). However, I’m still looking forward to the match quite a bit and I’m okay with any of these three walking out with the title. Win-win-win scenario.
UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH:
Bobby Lashley (c) vs. Apollo Crews
Heat Index = Cold
Prediction: Bobby Lashley wins.
Thoughts: Standard rematch. This was the easiest, laziest option WWE could have gone with. I’m not surprised. I’d have rather seen Lashley defend against Ricochet, Mustafa Ali or someone completely unrelated.
OVERALL PPV:
How excited am I for the event as a whole?
Heat Index = Cold
Thoughts: There are 3 interesting matches on this whole card. The rest of it is just a bunch of rematches. Hell, even one of those 3 matches is a rematch, too! There’s nothing to sink your teeth into other than to find out who wins between Orton/McIntyre, the ladder match and to see Reigns wreck Jey Uso. Everything else is pointless.
What do you think is going to happen at WWE Clash of Champions? Which matches are you most excited to see? Keep the discussion going in the comments below!
